an education.

at 4, i learnt to count the number of months between each fight (it was 3)
at 5, i learnt to be afraid of my father
at 6, i learnt that my father was a jealous man
at 7, i learnt that my father sought to control my mom and i
at 8, i learnt to hate my father and his son
at 9, i learnt to cry without making a sound
at 10, i learnt my father was a hypocritical man
at 11, i learnt to read between the lines
at 12, i learnt to keep (problems) to myself (this is when my introversion really intensified)
at 13, i learnt my mom had her faults too (but i turned a blind eye)
at 14, i learnt to build my resilience
at 15, i learnt to rise above my anger and sadness
at 16, i learnt to accept that divorce would come...someday
at 17, i learnt to use my father's methods against him (talking nicely then dropping a bomb)
at 18, i learnt that loving someone and wanting to fix them is different
at 19, i learnt my father was more scheming and violent than i ever thought

at 20, i'm tired